I guess I should answer this myself, though if you read this substack you probably know already:
I'm from Berkeley, California, and live now in Oakland, California (right next door). I've also lived in New York and L.A.
Since where I live is more or less where I'm from, the follow-up questions are moot for me, but generally speaking, I kind of despise California at the moment.
Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022Liked by Leighton Woodhouse
Originally from India, living in US for four decades. Much better during 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. More recently: moved from NC to Oakland. Much worse. Wish I could go back.
I have never understood why the question "Where are you from?" is frowned upon. It is an opening to form a connection. Better to be asked and have the opportunity to answer and represent oneself than to not be asked and be either stereotyped or ignored.
Really... "Where are you from" is always offensive? Some people have sticks so far up their arse they forget they're there. My wife who's family originated from Thailand gets a little annoyed by this question too, but never offended. Her answer: "West Texas, a small town called Lamesa." It's usually sufficient to loosen up the conversation and get people talking about Texas.
Why assume someone wants to know where "you're from" because they are desperate to identify you as an outsider? That's the fear, right? What I don't understand is what world people who complain about this stuff expect to inherit. They would prefer a world where no one gives a shit and never asks anyone about anything they don't understand in order to avoid any kind of possible offense. It boggles my mind.
Anyway, I was born in the U.P. of Michigan at K. I. Sawyer Air Force base. I eventually ended up in a St. Louis suburb until I was in 6th grade. Then I moved to Naperville and eventually in Chicago where I lived for about 25 years. I recently moved to western Maryland on the border of West Virginia.
Ithaca, NY. Now Cambridge, MA. Some things better, some worse. My Dad would ask virtually everyone he met where they were from and learned so much and established so many connections that way. He had lived all over and was so often able to help people out by making connections for them largely because he simply showed he was interested in people's backgrounds. I try to emulate him in that the best I can.
Where are you from is a over reaction to 'yur not from round here, is you?' We see this with the Amish speaking of the English, Islam talking about the non-believers, Christians about those who haven't brought Christ into their hearts.
Saying in the US, where are you from is a beautiful thing. Why? Because in the US, we're mostly all immigrants from somewhere. Who until recently, weren't doing all that great where they were. Even the so called indigenous tribes had predecessors (Clovis anyone), even if those predecessors were removed from North America due to the Younger Dryas Impact 10K y ago.
I like "what's your mother tongue?" For folks from India, the folks I run into speak 3 languages, and acknowledging this history is for me, one of respect and appreciation. Being a dummy American who between us and the Brits, established English as the lingua franca of communications meant there was no forcing function for me to learn another language to get on as I traveled on business.
So I could use without the projection, the scolding. Almost all I speak with in the US were from somewhere else. Another state, region, continent and culture. Almost all of my grandparents came from another non English speaking culture, lets appreciate the history - the good and bad (my spouses grandparents escaped the pogroms), and the western ish values that let us relocate, and mingle.
You know what’s *actually* never polite? Scolding everyone for literally everything; assuming your view is the (only) right one, seeking fault in everyone but oneself, mining for offense where none exists, turning every human interaction into a minefield, where only you hold the map of the mines.
Politeness is meant to put people at ease - garbage humans like the author of the tweet have zero claim on the word.
(To answer the thread question, I grew up in Minnesota, have lived all over the world before landing in Texas.)
I know what this very silly woman means by this very silly tweet but I can only imagine she doesn't have much in the way of lived experience. I came to the Bay Area from a decrepit eastern inner-ring suburb of Pittsburgh (not Braddock, but my old commute bus goes thru Fetterman's neighborhood) over 40 years ago, and I'm not sure I met a San Francisco native in my first six months in the city. My closest friends were from Chicago, the Central Coast, New York City, Calgary, and Melbourne. This is the <i>normal condition</i> of anyone who has moved to a college town or to a metropole, of anyone who is an immigrant internal or external. If an Italian immigrant asks another Italian immigrant "Where are you from?" is he trying to oppress a microOther or trying to figure out if they're second cousins? It's <i>also</i> about finding commonality and community. What a sad life not wanting those things would condemn you to.
I absolutely love languages which is why I love asking where are you from. No where seems safe from tyranny at present but I’d probably like to move out to the country - east Texas.
I lie and tell people I was born in Boston when I was really born in a suburb called Newton. Raised in Toronto, live in Gatineau (the French side of Ottawa).
Western North Dakota originally, but I spent a lot of time in East Tennessee when I was growing up. Now I live in Billings, Montana. I've spent a lot of time in conservative, flyover areas. Where I moved in Montana is not really far enough west in Montana to be much different than where I grew up in attitude, though it's changing. They're building like crazy here. The advantages I found when I moved would have been those that come with going from any sparsely populated area to a more populated area: more access to culture, more options for food and shopping, a more diverse set of people in looks, experience, and viewpoint. Though I'll say the weather is definitely better in Billings than where I grew up. (I laughed when they said minus 35 was the coldest they'd ever seen. When I was a sophomore in college in Williston, ND, it hit 80 below, and that was without the windchill--with windchill it was minus 120.)
The disadvantage to living in Montana right now is that we're seeing a lot of people fleeing other areas, driving up the prices of homes so locals can't afford them and driving up property taxes. We also have out of staters buying up huge portions of farm and ranch land for "investment" purposes. I don't necessarily care if Montana becomes more liberal (our thought processes could use some "modernizing") but if you're running from a blue state with problems, have the self-awareness to understand why those problems came about and don't make the same mistakes here.
From San Diego, live in San Diego with brief stops in orange and LA counties as well as Columbus OH. Love the place in San Diego, but despise the people running the city and state and not too optimistic about the future of this place as it is becoming more like LA and Bay Area by the day with no signs of the voters waking up.
I was born near Seattle. Grew up in the Tampa metro. Almost my entire post-college life, I've lived in the Atlanta metro.
As a young adult, Tampa sucked, IMO - it was geared towards tourists and the elderly. I was glad to have a job offer in Atlanta, which had both more geographical variety, more seasonal variety and a richer canvas of things to do as an adult. It also has more middle-class racial variety which was an extra bonus (where else in the world will you see a bunch of Black folks dressed up as elves in a parade?)
So I much prefer Atlanta, and I have no regrets about moving here. My Dad certainly wished I had stayed in Tampa, and that makes me sad. To some degree, I console myself that if one of my kids wanted to live somewhere else, I will also be sad, but I would understand and support them in their desire to find a home that suits them better.
I guess I should answer this myself, though if you read this substack you probably know already:
I'm from Berkeley, California, and live now in Oakland, California (right next door). I've also lived in New York and L.A.
Since where I live is more or less where I'm from, the follow-up questions are moot for me, but generally speaking, I kind of despise California at the moment.
Originally from India, living in US for four decades. Much better during 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. More recently: moved from NC to Oakland. Much worse. Wish I could go back.
I have never understood why the question "Where are you from?" is frowned upon. It is an opening to form a connection. Better to be asked and have the opportunity to answer and represent oneself than to not be asked and be either stereotyped or ignored.
Really... "Where are you from" is always offensive? Some people have sticks so far up their arse they forget they're there. My wife who's family originated from Thailand gets a little annoyed by this question too, but never offended. Her answer: "West Texas, a small town called Lamesa." It's usually sufficient to loosen up the conversation and get people talking about Texas.
Why assume someone wants to know where "you're from" because they are desperate to identify you as an outsider? That's the fear, right? What I don't understand is what world people who complain about this stuff expect to inherit. They would prefer a world where no one gives a shit and never asks anyone about anything they don't understand in order to avoid any kind of possible offense. It boggles my mind.
Anyway, I was born in the U.P. of Michigan at K. I. Sawyer Air Force base. I eventually ended up in a St. Louis suburb until I was in 6th grade. Then I moved to Naperville and eventually in Chicago where I lived for about 25 years. I recently moved to western Maryland on the border of West Virginia.
Ithaca, NY. Now Cambridge, MA. Some things better, some worse. My Dad would ask virtually everyone he met where they were from and learned so much and established so many connections that way. He had lived all over and was so often able to help people out by making connections for them largely because he simply showed he was interested in people's backgrounds. I try to emulate him in that the best I can.
Where are you from is a over reaction to 'yur not from round here, is you?' We see this with the Amish speaking of the English, Islam talking about the non-believers, Christians about those who haven't brought Christ into their hearts.
Saying in the US, where are you from is a beautiful thing. Why? Because in the US, we're mostly all immigrants from somewhere. Who until recently, weren't doing all that great where they were. Even the so called indigenous tribes had predecessors (Clovis anyone), even if those predecessors were removed from North America due to the Younger Dryas Impact 10K y ago.
I like "what's your mother tongue?" For folks from India, the folks I run into speak 3 languages, and acknowledging this history is for me, one of respect and appreciation. Being a dummy American who between us and the Brits, established English as the lingua franca of communications meant there was no forcing function for me to learn another language to get on as I traveled on business.
So I could use without the projection, the scolding. Almost all I speak with in the US were from somewhere else. Another state, region, continent and culture. Almost all of my grandparents came from another non English speaking culture, lets appreciate the history - the good and bad (my spouses grandparents escaped the pogroms), and the western ish values that let us relocate, and mingle.
You know what’s *actually* never polite? Scolding everyone for literally everything; assuming your view is the (only) right one, seeking fault in everyone but oneself, mining for offense where none exists, turning every human interaction into a minefield, where only you hold the map of the mines.
Politeness is meant to put people at ease - garbage humans like the author of the tweet have zero claim on the word.
(To answer the thread question, I grew up in Minnesota, have lived all over the world before landing in Texas.)
I know what this very silly woman means by this very silly tweet but I can only imagine she doesn't have much in the way of lived experience. I came to the Bay Area from a decrepit eastern inner-ring suburb of Pittsburgh (not Braddock, but my old commute bus goes thru Fetterman's neighborhood) over 40 years ago, and I'm not sure I met a San Francisco native in my first six months in the city. My closest friends were from Chicago, the Central Coast, New York City, Calgary, and Melbourne. This is the <i>normal condition</i> of anyone who has moved to a college town or to a metropole, of anyone who is an immigrant internal or external. If an Italian immigrant asks another Italian immigrant "Where are you from?" is he trying to oppress a microOther or trying to figure out if they're second cousins? It's <i>also</i> about finding commonality and community. What a sad life not wanting those things would condemn you to.
I absolutely love languages which is why I love asking where are you from. No where seems safe from tyranny at present but I’d probably like to move out to the country - east Texas.
I am from Dallas Texas presently but have lived all over Texas. Grew up an Army brat from nowhere. Home was where my parents were.
I lie and tell people I was born in Boston when I was really born in a suburb called Newton. Raised in Toronto, live in Gatineau (the French side of Ottawa).
Western North Dakota originally, but I spent a lot of time in East Tennessee when I was growing up. Now I live in Billings, Montana. I've spent a lot of time in conservative, flyover areas. Where I moved in Montana is not really far enough west in Montana to be much different than where I grew up in attitude, though it's changing. They're building like crazy here. The advantages I found when I moved would have been those that come with going from any sparsely populated area to a more populated area: more access to culture, more options for food and shopping, a more diverse set of people in looks, experience, and viewpoint. Though I'll say the weather is definitely better in Billings than where I grew up. (I laughed when they said minus 35 was the coldest they'd ever seen. When I was a sophomore in college in Williston, ND, it hit 80 below, and that was without the windchill--with windchill it was minus 120.)
The disadvantage to living in Montana right now is that we're seeing a lot of people fleeing other areas, driving up the prices of homes so locals can't afford them and driving up property taxes. We also have out of staters buying up huge portions of farm and ranch land for "investment" purposes. I don't necessarily care if Montana becomes more liberal (our thought processes could use some "modernizing") but if you're running from a blue state with problems, have the self-awareness to understand why those problems came about and don't make the same mistakes here.
From San Diego, live in San Diego with brief stops in orange and LA counties as well as Columbus OH. Love the place in San Diego, but despise the people running the city and state and not too optimistic about the future of this place as it is becoming more like LA and Bay Area by the day with no signs of the voters waking up.
I was born near Seattle. Grew up in the Tampa metro. Almost my entire post-college life, I've lived in the Atlanta metro.
As a young adult, Tampa sucked, IMO - it was geared towards tourists and the elderly. I was glad to have a job offer in Atlanta, which had both more geographical variety, more seasonal variety and a richer canvas of things to do as an adult. It also has more middle-class racial variety which was an extra bonus (where else in the world will you see a bunch of Black folks dressed up as elves in a parade?)
So I much prefer Atlanta, and I have no regrets about moving here. My Dad certainly wished I had stayed in Tampa, and that makes me sad. To some degree, I console myself that if one of my kids wanted to live somewhere else, I will also be sad, but I would understand and support them in their desire to find a home that suits them better.
Pittsburgh
la grande, oregon.
Funny you should ask. I answered this exact question for myself a few weeks ago: https://erinetheridge.substack.com/p/where-are-you-from